Texting with the Twins
by Frantic Rush
Summary: So... what if foreigner Fay had brought three phones with her? And gave one of them to the Twins? Yeah, bad idea, Fay. Short drabbles! Reading Song of Nerves first is recommended ;)
1. Chapter 1

Fay: Soooo, how do you guys like your new phone?

Twins: It's awesome, onee-san!

Twins: Yeah, it's really great!

Fay: Hold up. I know how you guys always finish each other's sentences and agree with each other in real life, but you can't do that through texting.

Twins: Why not?

Twins: Yes, why not?

Fay: Because you're using the same phone, so when you responding to me twice like that it feels like you're agreeing with yourself. That's a little weird, isn't it?

Twins: Eeeeh? We're weird?!

Twins: But we don't want to be weird!

Fay: Sorry, sorry, don't panic, just reply to everything once. Then everything will be okay.

Twins: Then, I will be the one texting! Yaay!

Twins: No, I want to text onee-san!

Fay: I have no idea who's who, but anyway, don't fight. You can take turns, right?

Twins: That's unfair! I want to talk to onee-san…

Twins: Hahaha, onee-san, I just stole the phone from brother! And now h

Twins: Ah, onee-san it's me again! I wi

Twins: Heey, I

Twins: ash

Twins: fgh

Fay: OKAY STOP IT RIGHT THERE. YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY NICE NOW. Go back to answering everything twice.

Twins: Okay!

Twins: Yay!

Fay: Phew~ No more fighting okay?

Twins: We won't fight

Twins: because we are nice!

Fay: That's… disagreeable. Anyway, do you want to learn how to use some emoticons?

Twins: Heey, nee-san didn't you have three phones when you arrived here?

Twins: Yeah, onee-san, where's the third phone?

Fay: …Did you just completely ignore my question? Okay anyway, the third phone is my spare phone. With all the near death experiences, I will undoubtedly need it in the future.

Twins: Can't you give that one to us too?

Twins: Yeah, nee-san! Then we can all text individually! Now I have to wait for brother to finish typing. And he's sooooo slow…

Twins: I'm not! You're slow!

Twins: No, you're slow!

Fay: GUYS STOP IT, YOU'RE BOTH SLOW. And that's okay! It's normal to be slow in the beginning, you'll figure everything out eventually. And no, like I said, I need that phone in case something happens with my old phone. Just be grateful I even gave you two a phone to begin with!

Twins: But we're begging you!

Twins: Pleaseeeeee?

Fay: No.

Twins: Pleaseeeee?

Twins: Pretty please?

Fay: You're begging has no effect on me whatsoever. Your cuteness is useless now, muahahaha!

Twins: But if we were there with you right now, we would cling to your arm!

Twins: Yes and we would look at you with our teary eyes!

Fay: Guys, it's not working through text. Forget it.

Twins: But…

Twins: Can't you imagine it happening?

Fay: …No, of course not.

Twins: Our whimpering voices

Twins: Our sad puppy faces

Fay: Manipulating me in this way will not help you! I'm stronger than that!

Twins: It sounds to me like you're trying to convince yourself.

Twins: Because we know onee-san likes us!

Fay: Of course I like you guys! But that doesn't mean I'll give you whatever you want.

Twins: Pleaseeee?

Twins: Please please pleaseeee?

Fay: …Fine. I'm not sure how your strategy worked, but I'll bring the third phone to you in my next break, okay?

Twins: Yaaay!

Fay: … that's it? I'm so used to two responses, where's to other one?

Twins: Ah, we were answering in unison!

Twins: Yeah, in unison!

Fay: COULDN'T YOU DO THAT FROM THE START?


	2. Chapter 2

Fay: Okay, I need to know who's using which phone

Twins: I'm Dee

Unknown number: I'm Dum

Fay: Okay, thx. Wait a minute.

Dee: Thx?

Dum: What's that onee-san?

Fay: Oh, it's short for thanks.

Dee: So 'thx'is a short for thanks, and thanks is a short for thank you. That's so cool! Do you know more things like that?

Fay: Well, I don't know that many… Btw is 'by the way' and some people write 'u' instead of 'you'… Hmm I have to think about other ones… Since I only ever texted with my brother, I'm used to texting properly. He would get mad if I didn't. He once refused to give me dessert after dinner because I accidently said 'your going to school' and not 'you're going to school'.

Dee: Eeeh, so you don't know other words?

Fay: No, but I know how to do smileys! Look :D

Dee: What is :D

Fay: If you tilt your head sideways it looks like a face right?

Dee: Yeah it does!

Fay: Wait a minute… Where's Dum?

Dee: Ah, Dum is getting some explosives

Fay: … What?

Dee: Yeah, we want to test how strong these phones are so we're going to explode the third phone.

Fay: WTF o_O

Dee: Onee-san what's that? It's in capital lettres, so are you angry? Don't worry about missing out, I'll text you how it went!

Fay: That's not the point! It's my precious phone, YOU CAN'T JUST BLOW IT UP!

Dee: But it's brother's phone now. He can do whatever he wants with it, right?

Fay: No, it's…

Fay: Okay wait. It's a gift from me right? And you know, onee-san is going to be very sad when you destroy a gift. Because then I will think you didn't like my gift! And I will most probably never give you guys any gifts in the future because of that D':

Dee: No, we liked your gift! We really really liked them.

Fay: Good boy, now would you kindly stop Dum from blasting my phone to bits.

Dee: Okay, I'll tell him when he's back

Fay: No, no… why don't you go to him to stop him. That's better.

Dee: Oh there he is! Oooooooh, he found the limited edition explosives! The seller told us it creates green fire when it explodes! Green, onee-san, green!

Fay: Dee? Remember what you just promised, Dee. Dee?

Dee: He he he he

Fay: What's that Dee? Why are you answering with 'he he he he'? I'm getting worried over here...

Dee: He he he he

Fay: … Okay that's it, I'm coming to the Mansion.


	3. Chapter 3

Dee: So this is the device that causes them to be distracted during their duties.

Fay: Eh, who is this? Dee? Dum?

Dee: And it appears that the foreigner is the root of it all, how surprising.

Fay: … You are not either of the Twins, are you?

Dee: You are correct, Miss Fay.

Fay: … Dupre?

Dee: Yes. Pleasure to talk to you too through this tiny object.

Fay: Never mind that, how in the world did you figure out how to text?

Dee: Are you perhaps questioning my ability to learn, young miss?

Fay: NO! NO! Of course not! Anyway… so the Twins gave you their phone, huh? Well, actually it's mine, or well it was mine and

Fay: I'm not making any sense now am I? You are smirking right now, right? I can almost feel your smirk through this phone.

Dee: Am I now?

Fay: Oh yes, you definitely are.

Dee: What a strange thing to insinuate.

Fay: But I am right, am I?

Dee: Well, you have to come here and see for yourself.

Fay: No, that's fine. I'm okay. I'll just stay here.

Dee: Miss Fay, I almost get the feeling you are avoiding me. You have yet to visit my territory after all this time. Last time I met you, you had told me you would visit soon before you ran off. And I have been waiting, Miss Fay.

Fay: No… well that's a long story! I'll definitely visit next time!

Dee: And now it seems like you've been in contact with my subordinates, even though you couldn't spare me more than eight words after we met in town.

Fay: No, I'm sure it was more than eight words!

Dee: 'Sorry, I'm busy. See you next time.'

Fay: Err, yeah. So I might have said that.

Dee: You left as soon as you saw me. Now, that's not the most polite thing to do, is it Miss Fay?

Fay: Uh no. I'll go next time when I have some free time! I swear! In five time periods or so, I'll be on your doorstep.

Dee: And to think you have shared so many stories with the Twins. I also heard that Elliot had met you in the bakery. But when I went to this shop, you, oh so conveniently, had a break and was nowhere to be found. I might just mistook your actions as… detest towards me, Miss Fay.

Fay: Okay, I will go next time period! I promise!

Dee: And if that wasn't enough, now it seems you have wound my subordinates around your little finger, keeping them from work with this clever device.

Fay: OKAY, I'LL COME RIGHT NOW!


	4. Chapter 4

Twins: Say, onee-san what are you doing now?

Twins: Are you working?

Fay: Ah, no. I'm sitting in the park right now. I have a short break and I thought: why not? I mean the weather is beautiful today!

Fay: OH WAIT ARE YOU HAVING A BREAK NOW? Don't text me while you're supposed to be working okay! Otherwise I have to deal with your boss again and I really can't.

Twins: But it was fun when you visited!

Twins: Yeah, we even had a tea party!

Twins: But there was too much carrot cake.

Twins: That's because chickie rabbit likes them so much.

Fay: Heey guys, be nice to Elliot! And it might have been great for you guys, but I was sitting next to Blood! He was just so… well you know.

Twins: Like what?

Twins: Don't you like our boss? You were smiling the whole time though

Fay: Nevermind. But it was fun to see you guys!

Twins: We had fun too onee-san!

Twins: Yeah, onee-san you have to visit us more often! Oh, but not right now.

Fay: Huh? Oh, let me guess, you're in the middle of blowing something up again.

Twins: No, not this time!

Twins: Yeah, Fay-chan we do other stuff too, you know?

Fay: Hey? Since when did you decide to call me Fay-chan? I liked the nee-san thing, it was cute!

Twins: Say, Fay-chan, if you give so many pieces of your bread to the ducks, you don't have anything left for yourself, you know?

Twins: I bet you couldn't refuse the ducks bread because they looked cute, right? Or is it because they are birds too, Fay-chan?

Fay: WAIT A MINUTE. How do you know I'm feeding the ducks? Are you guys in the park too?

Twins: He he he he

Fay: Not funny! Okay I'm going to stand up and look around now. If you're here, you better show yourself…

Twins: He he he he

Fay: Are you guys messing with me? Where are you? Don't tell me you're stalking me behind a tree or something.

Twins: Aawh, Fay-chan is so cute when she's flustered

Twins: Flustered and scared~

Fay: Stop joking around! Where. Are. You.

Twins: You should look behind you Fay-chan…

Fay: What? I'm not seeing anything except a bunch of trees.

Twins: You have to do your best Fay-chan…

Fay: But I'm looking! Geez, guys what are you planning

Twins: We have a surprise for you...

Fay: al;shdf;sejn/p


	5. Chapter 5

Twins: Hello, onee-san!

Twins: What are you doing?

Twins: Are you having a break?

Twins: :) Look we can do this now :) The smiley you told us about! :) :) :) :) :) :)

Twins: look :) :) :)

Twins: Heey? Why aren't you answering?

Twins: Yeah, why aren't you answering?

Twins: Onee-san? It's been five time periods already… you're not ignoring us, right?

Twins: Onee-san? We're sad ):

Twins: Is it because what happened at the park?

Twins: Do you only like us when we are young?

Twins: Onee-san, we thought you would like our surprise…

Twins: We miss you ):

Twins: We're sorry, okay? Don't be mad…

Twins: We were only playing, but we won't do it again, we promise!

Twins: Oneeeeee-san? ):

.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile<p>

* * *

><p>Fay: Blood you have to help me. I need your help DESPERATELY.<p>

Blood: Good afternoon to you too, Miss Fay. What a remarkable way to begin a conversation. How can I be of service?

Fay: Could you please do me a favour and take away the twins' phone? Please?

Blood: Oh? Why the change of heart? Last time I saw you at the tea party, you weren't pleased that I took their phone away and now you want me to confiscate their remaining phone…

Fay: Yes, well I was under the impression that they GAVE you the phone, instead of you using your power as their boss to take it. But that doesn't matter. Just make sure they can't text me now, okay? Please, Blood!

Blood: At the moment, I see no merit in doing that. Perhaps you could change my mind by giving an explanation.

Fay: I really don't want to but… alright. Remember the last time we met? And I'm not talking about the tea party, but… you know what! Well, it was the twins' fault and I have decided that it would be in my best interest to distance myself from them.

Blood: That's hardly an explanation, Miss Fay. You'll have to do better than that. I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

Fay: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You were practically there! I ran out the park after the incident happened and bumped into you!

Blood: Ah yes, that time. You were soaked to the bone and covered in duckweed.

Fay: Duckweed?

Blood: The small green freshwater plant that floats in the lake.

Fay: Right. Thank you for describing that situation with so much unnecessary details, Dupre.

Blood: You also had a bit of bird poo on your head.

Fay: IT'S NOT LIKE A WANTED TO LOOK LIKE THAT OKAY. I had to flee for my life and the only way was through the lake! The ducks were startled and that's why that happened.

Blood: But you have yet to explain what you were escaping from, dear Miss Fay.

Fay: Like it isn't obvious! You. Were. There. You saw everything!

Blood: That's not true. I was simply taking a stroll after a business meeting when I suddenly encountered you. But then, you immediately ran off again before explaining anything. Tell me, is running from me a hobby of yours?

Fay: No! My life was in danger! The twins were after me with remote control flying poisoned ninja stars! Besides, it wasn't like the twins were normal, they were so… so… old? And tall! But when I screamed at them, they high fived each other because they knew I would be surprised at their 'older form'. So I figured they were really Dee and Dum.

Blood: Yes, that's normal. I suggest you get used to it.

Fay: Normal? Ugh Wonderland confuses me. Anyway, I was too focused on those flying weapons to really realise what the heck happened to them. AND THOSE WEAPON THINGS WERE HUGE! They were like… seagull-sized or something!

Blood: Sea-gull-sized weapon things, you say?

Fay: Stop laughing, I know you are laughing right now so stop it! Anyway, now you know the whole story. Please Blood… take away that fricking phone.

Blood: No.

Fay: What do you mean, no?

Blood: I don't see why I should help. You can simply ignore them.

Fay: That's the point! I really can't! They're saying all these cute things right now! Besides, they did the sad smiley face wrong and I want to correct them, but then I would be giving in. Please Blood! Pleaaaseee!

Blood: Even so, the question remains. Why should I help you? What's in it for me?

Fay: Because… wait let me think.

Fay: I'm in full negotiation mode now.

Blood: Is that so?

Fay: I can feel you smirking again, stop it. Anyway, I can't think of anything so how about you come up with a deal and then we can work something out. I'm pretty sure I will do about anything now, because I'm close to giving in to the twins. Gosh, they just texted me that they are in tears!

Blood: 'Anything'. I'll remember that.

Fay: What, wait! I said 'about anything'! So that means not anything!

Blood: Of course, Miss Fay, of course. I will visit your little bakery in three time periods. Ah, but… no running off this time.

Fay: Oh my goodness, they are trying to call me. Make it two time periods and I'll assure you that I will listen VERY closely to what you want.

Blood: Two? Then we have ourselves a deal.


	6. Chapter 6

Blood: And here I was, under the impression we came to a mutual understanding. But alas, it seems my business partner has fled. You really do like running away, don't you?

Fay: Stop. You have no right to talk to me. No right at all.

Blood: Is that so?

Fay: Don't play innocent Dupre. You're a traitor and you know it.

Blood: Traitor? How so? All I did, was come to the bakery at the appointed time, ready to negotiate with you and the second our eyes met, you were out of the back door.

Fay: You can be so evil, Blood. So evil.

Blood: Evil? How endearing. My whole life, my enemies had cursed me to be many things. Things that could make an innocent little girl like you slam your hands over your ears in astonishment, Miss Fay. But I must say, being called evil is so harmless, it's almost refreshing. However, I still fail to see how you could come to such a conclusion. Was it not_ you_ who begged for my immediate assistance? Did we not make an agreement to meet _without_ you running away?

Fay: Don't you dare put this on me Blood! You came to the bakery WITH THE TWINS. The twins! I mean, what in the world where you thinking?! I ask for your help with avoiding them AND THEN YOU BRING THEM ALONG? Why Dupre, why?

Blood: You specified time and place for negotiation, nothing more, nothing less. Which means I was free to come to the bakery with people of my choosing. No, Miss Fay, the way I see it, _you_ were the one that did not keep to your promise of not running away.

Fay: THAT'S NONSENSE! AND I MADE NO SUCH PROMISE.

Blood: Ah, but Miss Fay, did you not know the rules? Even though you were, and I quote, in 'full negotiation mode'?

Fay: What? What are you talking about?

Blood: The consent to be bound can be given either explicitly or implicitly. After I texted you '… Ah, but… no running off this time', you did not agree nor disagree. Instead, you changed the subject, leaving me with the assumption you agreed to this term. And I assure you, any objective third party would side with my point of view if they read the full conversation.

Fay: Consent to be bound, my foot! If I meet the twins again, I'm dead!

Blood: Really now? I wonder…

Fay: What? Why do I have a feeling you are laughing right now?

Blood: Well, we're about to see if that theory will become practise, because I have instructed the twins to search every nook and cranny for you.

Fay: No… no you didn't

Blood: Yes, yes I did.

Fay: I'M DEAD MEAT NOW

Blood: Or, you could come to me before the twins find you. Then we can start a civil conversation without these phone devices. And then, when the twins will eventually come back to the bakery and could keep them from turning you into 'dead meat', as you so wish to phrase it. So I would suggest you come back to the bakery.

Fay: I can't.

Blood: Now, Fay, declining my offer? You don't want to be doing that.

Fay: Is that a threat? Anyway… I literally can't. I ran into this small space between two buildings, thinking I could make it through and now I'm stuck. Do you know in what awkward position I'm in right now just so I can text you.

Blood: Ah. I see.

Blood: Foreigners never cease to amuse me. Tell me where you are and I'll see what I can do.

Fay: Fine, just don't laugh.

* * *

><p>- Meanwhile -<p>

Twins: Oneeeeee-san!

Twins: Oneeeeee-san where are you?

Twins: Boss told us we could meet you!

Twins: Hello?


End file.
